Tell us your best clean joke!

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Comments

  • Blair
    Blair Posts: 46
    edited September 2018
    I heard this years ago and still love it.  Who was the greatest financier in history?   Noah,  because he managed to float all of his stock while everyone else had to liquidate.

     

     

     

     
  • Angela
    Angela Posts: 42
    edited September 2018
    An elderly woman was standing naked in front of a mirror crying. Her husband asked her why she was crying, she replied "my skin has aged terribly as it is all loose and wrinkled, my boobs have fallen near my knees, my bum just keeps getting bigger and bigger, and my hair is falling out.  Can you please say something kind about me and help me feel better about myself ?"

    He replied "your eyesight is perfect".
  • Dominica
    Dominica Posts: 42
    edited September 2018
    What do you call a cheese that's not yours?

    Nacho cheese. ?
  • krazie1952
    krazie1952 Posts: 3
    edited May 2023
    I was at a mini-mart one day when I noticed a woman smoking a cigarette while she was gassing up her car. There was a deputy in the store watching her. Suddenly the woman's arm caught fire. She was screaming and trying desperately to put it out, but couldn't. The deputy ran over and put out the fire with his soda. He then handcuffed the lady and put her in the back of his squad car. I couldn't resist going over to him and asking what he was charging the woman with. He looked at me, smiled, and said, "I'm charging her with waving a firearm around.
  • Michael
    Michael Posts: 6 ✭✭✭

    An older couple were walking down the sidewalk. The husband looked up and bird poop hit him right above the eye.

    The wife said, "Oh, my, I wish we had a bit of toilet paper."

    The husband said, "Why, he must be a half mile away by now!"

  • Michael
    Michael Posts: 6 ✭✭✭

    If a mime gets arrested , does he still have the right to remain silent?

  • Michael
    Michael Posts: 6 ✭✭✭

    Most people have heard of Mother Teresa, and some know she died in 1997.

    Most people don't know that she became a Saint in 2016. What most people don't know, is that she was traded to the Lions for two draft picks to be named later.

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