What's Your Opinion On This?

greyfurball Posts: 591 ✭✭✭✭
edited October 2020 in General Health

I have a husband which absolutely refuses to use natural or homemade medicines. As far as he is concerned, it's all a bunch of snake oil. The only thing he will use is another prescription. Or as far as he is concerned, a regular MD I guess you could say is just one step below God.

If an MD says it...it is gospel.

Now myself, I don't trust about 95% of what most MD's say. Their training is incomplete because after all their training is all based on pharmaceuticals. As far as I'm concerned, any company which knowingly puts out a drug which has a list of contraindications longer and more detrimental than the disease itself, well what kind of treatment plan is that?

So any physician which does not have the title MD after the name, he'll just never even give them a try.

My husband can see that many of my difficulties are always remedied with alternative therapies so it's not like he doesn't know they work.

So yes, after 47 years of marriage, we are totally and completely on different wave lengths on this issue. And the unfortunate part is, yes his basket of medications just keeps growing fuller and fuller. Because my philosophy of conventional medicine is they never try to cure you... they try to alleviate the symptoms so they know you will be back in the future so you can start another round of the treatment plan. And often, they add another medication to your list because you have developed other complications.

Anyone else in this situation and I'd just be curious to know how you do/or did handle it?


  • lmrebert
    lmrebert Posts: 363 ✭✭✭✭

    Yes... all the time... I’m a nurse and I have white willow tincture for pain/headaches... wound salve for pretty much everything topical... hand sanitizer from EO, chapstick, teas etc... but I still hear ppl say I have Motrin when someone is hurting etc not remembering that last time the willow works when the Motrin failed etc... my husband was not on board w me until the medical establishment let his father die of prostate cancer... hopefully he will come around before something bad like that happens but at any rate... in the end ppl will do what ppl will do... it’s a hard thing to watch ppl do when you care and wish better for them... I do my best to educate on the benefits and how pharma steals only certain compounds from Gods great medicine... so they can profit and that there r no risks to using the herb or oil in proper manner but many bad assaults on you body with the chemical manipulation of pharma. I told my husband to use my herbal nutritive infusions for vitamin and minerals but he still went and got pull supplements from Costco... oh well lol

  • Linda Bittle
    Linda Bittle Posts: 1,500 ✭✭✭✭✭

    My ex was that way. He actually told me that he would rather spend the 300.00 a month for statins than to eat healthier and exercise! Even after he had horrible muscle pains from them, he wouldn't agree to a better idea. And he smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day.

    I always tried to eat healthy and to stay healthy using herbs, but you cannot make someone make better choices. They have to want to do better for themselves. Also, I think that some people think that new and expensive is better than old fashioned.

    My mom equates money spent at the doctor as love. The more pills she takes, the more loved she feels.

    I wish you luck.

  • shllnzl
    shllnzl Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭✭✭

    My husband finally got off his statins. He is even drinking a little green tea (with juice disguising taste) every morning. He mostly thinks I have been brainwashed by bad Internet information. He watched me be over-treated for stage 0 breast cancer. My learning journey started then and five years later I am avoiding doctors when I can.

    (I am a lesson that I share with others. I had surgery plus radiation plus hormone killing drugs just in case my body could manufacture estrogen without ovaries. The drugs caused massive hot flashes. I was prescribed antidepressants to kill hot flashes. The antidepressants caused severe constipation so I needed stool softeners as a minimum....I can see why so many seniors are on so many drugs. I took myself off the antidepressants and then the main drug before the five years were completely up as I had enough of related body pain.)

    I have changed the way I eat, so my husband has to endure my changed cooking or eat elsewhere.

    I keep offering hubby new non-toxic products to try instead of what he is using. He is resisting the changes, yet recently admitted that he was using my shampoo off and on. He is aware of my new herbal medicine bag and its goodies. I am wearing him down by example.

  • LaurieLovesLearning
    LaurieLovesLearning Posts: 7,374 admin
    edited November 2019

    I agree with all of the above. Unless the person decides for themselves, they will not change. Often it takes drastic events, or many, and the doctors themselves showing lack of compassion, knowledge, competency, or that they are lying (so many do) & manipulative, or more...oh, I have experienced these way too much...

    I used to trust doctors. My mom likes them (although she did have an interest in essential oils for a short blip of time...and loves gardening/plants). She trained me well to be doctor trusting, but when I reached adulthood, I started to see holes in their ways. I was insulted by one (repeatedly in that visit about unrelated things), was called crazy more than once, bullied many times, and more that I won't mention. Once, I was almost treated according to someone else's file too! They weren't even going to that clinic! As I had homebirth babies, had cancer, & dealt with thyroid hype, and had those other experiences, my views changed. I was a hard-headed one, doctor wise (my husband never trusted them).

    Doctors still can be useful sometimes, but God makes plants with all of their wonderfully interacting subtle healing properties for a reason. Man just messes that up because of greed. I see doctors as government approved professional legal drug dealers more than anything else now.

    My dad ALMOST continued going to a licenced herbalist (yay!) except my nurse cousin (who I understand worked for her at the time) freaked him out (and my mom probably added to the noise as she trusts my nurse uncle more..thanks, you three), and it cost a lot. 😩 So, even though he did better on the herbs, he went back to those rotten meds and they are getting added to all the time. I want to help him with certain things, but those meds so complicate matters, that I don't dare. I don't have that level of training.

    Keep on enjoying your herbal remedies. Keep learning. Be happy that you know better. You will just have to be patient. He may come around, but he may not. It is just the nature of people.

  • merlin44
    merlin44 Posts: 426 ✭✭✭✭

    Agree with all the above opinions, people do not change until they decide there's a reason to do so. Early in our relationship, my late husband noticed I never got sick while he seemed to pick every sniffle, cold or flu going around so he was an easy convert to a holistic lifestyle. @shllnzl I think this society has been brainwashed by the medical and pharmaceutical businesses. How did past generations live without the pills? is the question I ask when someone is amazed I take no pharmaceuticals or see any doctors. @greyfurball All I can offer is congratulations on 47 years, I only had 24 with mine. Enjoy every day! lead by example and who knows, he may decide to make different choices one day.

  • maimover
    maimover Posts: 359 ✭✭✭

    At the end of the day all any of us can do is the best we can with what we have to work with. We have to do our best where our own health is concerned. I would continue to use your medicines and hopefully eventually your husband will see the benefits and get on board. If not continue to be happy, proud, and satisfied that you’re able to make your own medicines as well as their health benefits.

  • gennywu
    gennywu Posts: 96 ✭✭✭

    I believe in baby steps. Start with the easiest thing, and gradually build on it. In my case it was a liquid herbal stress support for my husband. I put it out for him every morning. Sometimes I add other liquid tinctures to the liquid (which tastes really good). It is a start.

  • chimboodle04
    chimboodle04 Posts: 286 ✭✭✭

    I agree with you about looking towards natural remedies first - especially since many medications just mask the symptoms and do not actually treat the root of what is wrong. I do have some hope for the medical profession though. We are fortunate enough to live within driving distance of the Cleveland Clinic. When I was first diagnosed with my autoimmune disease, I was very frustrated that I appeared to know more than some of my doctors when it came to the link between celiac, my thyroid, and various foods and environmental factors. I took steps myself to find out as much as I could and to take things out of and add things into my life to help the healing process. From the various things I found, I became aware of other professionals in practice who were also looking at environmental causes, diet causes, personal history, etc to try and determine the actual root of a patients disease, and then work with the patient in these various areas to eliminate causes and promote healing - all without medications. They spoke of adding in different herbal remedies, teas, etc to help support the body's healing. I was presently surprised to find that the Cleveland Clinic has now piloted a new branch of practice that focuses on just these things. They are geared towards autoimmune diseases - since current research is actually finding that many are linked and are results of long term exposure, diet, personal history, along with many other factors. The clinic says that they work with patients to compile a personal history and then critique the many factors to make diet, environment, etc changes to help heal - not resort to another pill. I find hope that they are branching in this new direction that actually focuses on the many facets of healing, not just pill pushing. Possibly there is something or someone similar near you? These are actual doctors recognizing the benefits of herbal supplements, so maybe your husband would listen....

  • greyfurball
    greyfurball Posts: 591 ✭✭✭✭

    @chimboodle04 oh how lucky you are to be near the Cleveland Clinic. One of the foremost physicians of functional medicine in this country actually happens to be one of the directors of that hospital. So that happens to translate into the clinic does offer many different types of alternative practices which are available along with conventional medicine. It is one of the biggest and best locations in this country which actually realizes the two types of medicine can and do exist for better patient care.

  • nksunshine27
    nksunshine27 Posts: 343 ✭✭✭

    sometimes its cooking with herbs to get them started. i made golden paste for our dog then my husband started taking it and felt better then i started using in cooking. he doesnt like warm milk other wise i would put it in milk. home grown herbalist has ideas how to get herbs into kiddos lol

  • ines871
    ines871 Posts: 1,283 ✭✭✭✭✭

    Hi again @greyfurball - Just an idea that could possibly work, to get your hubby Interested... in herbs -

    What are some of his Favorite meals/dishes you cook, using a variety... of herbs - and

    What if you just Slightly changed some, enough for him to Notice, but in an Acceptable 🙂 way. And

    you got into a discussion about the changes, & which he might like better ? - Then you could share,

    something on the order of " Dear, you know I found out that when I use .... (fill-in-the-blank) herb (s),

    I have more energy ", (or similar problem/issue he has). - And then you drop it, & the subject changes.

    Then every once in a while, repeat: Favorite meal-->Slight change in herb -->discussing his preferences-->"Dear, you know I found out that when I use .... (fill-in-the-blank) herb (s), yet Another positive change you share...

    This way you are sharing with Hubby the "GOOD 🙂 HERB NEWS" 🤗 - (but no arguing, & no nagging). Just some little light discussion. - And wouldn't you be surprised when he starts participating... more 🤩

    Maybe you've already tried such ways ? - And yet again, maybe it's something you could Tweak just a bit.

    One thing is for sure: Never, ever give up, on another human. EACH of us is so very precious, as you too know.

    What do you think?

  • ines871
    ines871 Posts: 1,283 ✭✭✭✭✭

    There could possibly be another angle to this with your hubby, & in some way I can sorta relate...

    Now don't get me wrong, neither me or Sweetie want anything to do with pharma-stuff; & while he lost Trust & then Respect for that 'establishment', it got worse after he (watched... me trying to survive as just a 'witness' to it all. Like "abandon Hope all ye who enter here". Well let's Stop beating that dying/dead horse.)

    I can relate... in the sense that for the past 1/2 year, I have read endless posts by members in the KNOW re herbal uses, & then came the Summit, and I was nervous about making a royal fool of myself, trying to participate with questions, like Am I gonna know Anything of which they speak? - Do I even fit in here? - And yet several Presenters thanked me for asking "insighful" questions, & that put me right at ease. Honestly It did. -- So now,

    Even as I still don't know 10% or less of what others in this HERB group may be experienced in, another 1 Happy realization I made this year is just how natural it has been for me to use the Aloe, Anise, Basil, Bay, Cayenne, Camomile, Chives, Cilantro, Dandelion, Dill, Fennel, Garlic, Licorice, Marjoram, Oregano, Parsley, Rosemary, Sage, Spearmint, Thyme, Turmeric, & Valerian: of these 22, are 12 I have already grown, & 6 of these for decades. - Now I will grow more to use. And isn't this what we all do, continue learning...

    And the same is true for your husband @greyfurball 🙂

  • greyfurball
    greyfurball Posts: 591 ✭✭✭✭

    @rainbow anyone visiting me is always amazed because 2 people now live here but I prepare six meals a day plus extra snacks for 2 of us.

    The reason, my husband will not eat anything with any herbs/spices or seasonings of any kind unless it is salt or pepper. He is actually a label reader if he goes to the store. He is looking if there is any spices/natural flavors etc in the list. He has no problems with all the gums/preservatives etc.. So since most manufactured food companies use no seasonings he is purely happy to eat their stuff.

    Myself, I eat nothing from a grocery store. I either grow my food (my husband hates veges) or I carefully source my food since I have some allergies which I must control. But plain old food cooked in water with salt/pepper... no I just can't stand that. I want flavor and variety.

    So your description for me is perfect. For him, he wouldn't touch your cooking.

  • shllnzl
    shllnzl Posts: 1,816 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @greyfurball Wow, your husband is tough. Mine shakes his head at me when I tell him I won't eat that because.... However, although he likes simpler foods, he will at least try what I cook, frequently complimenting me on concoctions he likes. (I use the term concoction because I experiment regularly. I have lots of cookbooks that I use as a reference to timing, cooking method or combinations that have worked for others. I seldom follow a recipe except for bread making.)

    Your husband should be grateful that you are still cooking for him, trying to keep him healthy in a way he will allow.

  • Leslie Carl
    Leslie Carl Posts: 255 ✭✭✭✭

    If your husband is willing to read some articles or watch a Discovery Channel video, here are some links that will educate him about how western medicine got started and who was behind it and how it became so widely accepted in the U.S. as the only "real" medicine. Not sure if it will help, but maybe.

  • greyfurball
    greyfurball Posts: 591 ✭✭✭✭

    @shllnzl and @rainbow I was absolutely stupified the day after we got married.

    At that time my husband was 29 years old. We were both in the US Military so although part of the time we knew each other we occasionally were stationed at the same base, we had never once actually ate a meal together.

    So the first full day we were now married and we had our own home (we lived off base and had found a trailer court where we could stay) I had no idea what he liked to eat so I made enough different kinds of food to feed at least 20 people. The joke was on me though since when he came home that night is when I found out he eats beef, potatoes and corn. That's it... nothing else!

    My first question was how can you only eat those three things and that's all. His answer...EASY!

    He had fried potatoes and a breakfast steak for breakfast, hamburger and fries for lunch and a steak, baked potato and corn for dinner. Snacks were beef sticks or potato sticks. So I did casually mention I'm assuming the hamburger was on a bun. Yes, it was.

    Long story short but 47 years later and a battle the whole time he has added a few items to that list because he was told at that first meal you had better start learning to eat some other foods because there is no way this marriage is going to last if all I cook is those three things. So yes he has tried. The list is up to about 30 items now. Most of them are some kind of meat. And I have spent almost 5 decades trying to get some fruit or veges in him the whole time without him knowing it. I'm real good at hiding stuff in plain old boring foods but the hardest part is when he's home and I'm trying to prepare him something.

    But unbelievably his mother let him get away with that his entire childhood so he never saw any reason to even try to change.

  • greyfurball
    greyfurball Posts: 591 ✭✭✭✭

    @Leslie Carl thanks Leslie. I will check them out first and see what they say and then ask him if he'd like to read them just for some background info. I'll figure out a way I can get him interested without letting him know I'm attempting to get him to realize his own health and wellness is not so dependent on conventional medicine as he believes it is.

  • ines871
    ines871 Posts: 1,283 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @greyfurball - so I Combined your statements, & Shortened it. Hope it is acceptable.

    re "So the first full day we were now married and ... when he came home that night I found out he eats Fried potatoes and a breakfast steak for breakfast, hamburger on a bun and fries for lunch, and a steak, baked potato and corn for dinner. Snacks were beef sticks or potato sticks. My first question was how can you only eat those three things and that's all. His answer...EASY! - his mother never saw any reason to even try to change, & let him get away with that his entire childhood."

    re "Long story short but 47 years later and a battle the whole time he has added about 30 items to that list, because he was told at that first meal you had better start learning to eat some other foods because there is no way this marriage is going to last, if all I cook is those three things. So yes he has tried. "

    Wow, unfortunately you sure learned an important lesson the hard way: Before agreeing to marry someone, let alone for LIFE, get to know your spouse re Essential matters, incldg. Meals that you then assume responsibility for. Share all kinds of activities to Discover... what the other person is really like, & can you see yourself living like that with NO changes, iow AS that person is.

    And his mother? - She layed his foundations in What, & How did she Feed him as a baby, & a growing boy ? - but after some time, the Choices are now past her, & unto him. It's his choices now, & he HAS changed, actually going from only three foods to now thirty is quite a change, tho it's taken 1/2 a century.

    And what about your children - did you Imprint & raise them to enjoy a Nutritional foods variety ? As surely this carries over into all succeeding generations...

    With us the Military character said I had a Choice: "Either clean the house, & I cook. OR You cook, & I clean the house" -

    Tho I enjoy eating mostly RAW foods, while he prefers mostly cooked foods, we both compromise, pretty well.

    And while I believe in "Clean enuf to be healthy, & dirty enuf to be happy while organized"; - FUN meals are just that, more fun. And with me FUN is the name of the game so I chose the meals, & he cleaned. - Tho after a decade I was Forced to do it ALL.

  • dipat2005
    dipat2005 Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭✭

    I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed reading what everyone had to say. I love fruits and vegetables. My grandparents always had a garden. My parents didn't garden but I have gardened for many years up until the last two years. I have physically been unable to garden but I hope to be able to garden again starting next year on a limited basis. I have been fortunate that I have friends from my church who have shared zucchini and tomatoes with me. I do miss the swiss chard, kale and spinach I have grown in the past and will continue to grow. At least your husbands took pills mine would fill the prescriptions and then take part of the pill or none at all. 4 cans of mountain dew per day for years did not help his many mental problems. He is now my "ex" and has diabetes, high blood pressure and a myriad of other health problems. I am trying to go off as many meds as possible because I too do not believe MD's have a clue what they are doing as far as meds are concerned. I know they only get about 1 hour of nutritional training during medical school. Goodness gracious that is horrible. I currently have a protocol for when people get sick and will send it to friends and family. It is tried and tested and I have been using it for many years. I stay well and healthy but when ill I get well quickly! Please stay healthy and well this winter. Eat all of the great things that are abundant and plentiful.

  • greyfurball
    greyfurball Posts: 591 ✭✭✭✭

    @rainbolt90 sorry for the late response. As for your comment...

    "Wow, unfortunately you sure learned an important lesson the hard way: Before agreeing to marry someone, let alone for LIFE, get to know your spouse re Essential matters, incldg. Meals that you then assume responsibility for. Share all kinds of activities to Discover... what the other person is really like, & can you see yourself living like that with NO changes, iow AS that person is."

    Yes in civilian life this works but not always in the military. We both had the same job description (a field medic) but at that time females were not allowed in the field. So I was transferred all over the place at field stations (some permanent some temporary) but he was always in the front lines itself. So we knew each other a long time, worked together often but never in a "Homemaker type of capacity".

    And as you can imagine, back in the late 60's early 70's co-habitation when you were not married was not acceptable in the military.

    As for my family they were brought up to accept and enjoy all food groups. But then again we rarely had to worry about him being home at dinner hour because he was second shift, I was first or third.

  • ines871
    ines871 Posts: 1,283 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @greyfurball Thank you for also serving the USA so faithfully, & well - & having it work out so well for your children too.