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How do I get myself out of my funky mood — The Grow Network Community
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How do I get myself out of my funky mood

CherlynnCherlynn Posts: 149 ✭✭✭

Starting in October my life has been on a down hill slide. My sister and soulmate had a heart attack. I went to Nashville and stayed with her for over a month. 6 days after I left she suddenly died. Her sister in law had come to stay with her before I left. I can't imagine going through life without my sister. I have 2 others one of which doesn't want to ever talk or see me again. The other is ok and we went to Houston together to try and help her daughter that is in a horrible mess since the hurricane went through a few years ago. Her insurance refused to pay out for damages and her beautiful house is falling apart. Full of mold and she has gone back on drugs to help get her through the nightmare she is living in. Everything was in her ex-husband's name so she can't do anything without his help. He returned to Tokyo just before their big earthquake/tsunami happened. He's returned several times but won't take care of anything. He claims she should deal with it but he won't give her a power of attorney to do so. After a week down in Houston we gave up and came home. I am trying to get her to register with habitat for humanity as the only way I know that she can get the house fixed. Anyway we've been dealing with a lot the last few years and haven't had a vacation in more than 5 years. My husband has booked us a week at a resort in March. Decided we needed some time away by ourselves. I need to go back to Nashville to help my nephew's sort through the stuff and get my sister's house ready to sell. One of them is having his own health problems right now so not sure when we will go back to deal with the house. Just trying to pull myself back up and get me going again. Our finances are still in the sewer. having my SS cut in half without warning really messed me up. Helping most of our kids survive is keeping us on the edge. Our oldest has a master degree and is pushing carts at Walmart. He was a programmer and all those jobs are going overseas or they are importing programmers from Russia or India and putting them in houses that they all share and deducting their living expenses and paying them next to nothing. Our family is doing worse not better. Trump is destroying jobs in Missouri not creating them. My husband is thinking of selling the rest of the farm and moving to another country. I really need a way to improve my mindset. I've never fallen so low before and don't know what to do to improve my mindset. Any advice is welcome.


  • Obiora EObiora E Posts: 519 ✭✭✭✭

    @Cherlynn Wow! I thought that I had been going through a rough patch off and on the past eight years but after hearing what you have been through mine do not seem so bad.

    I don't have too many suggestions or ideas but here are some that may work:

    1) Take a few moments every morning to take care of self (meditate, Tai' Chi, Yoga, stretch, self-reflection, positive visualizations).

    2) Since you live on a farm, I would suggest going into an area with trees (if any exist) and sit for a few moments at their base and watch Nature.

    3) Bask in the Sun.

    4) Think positively...Put out positive vibrations, take in positive vibrations, and start making a list of the abundance that you have and what you want to have in the future.

  • gardneto76gardneto76 Posts: 227 ✭✭✭

    I have to agree that sunlight and nature are good sources. I would go for a walk if possible for at lease 10 minutes in the sunshine. It will help boost your natural serotonin levels which will help your mood. If you are in a nice enough place, walk barefoot on natural surfaces. It will connect you to the ground, it’s called grounding. I tried it in my backyard last year and it really helped me. You have a lot on your plate. Remember you have to take care of yourself first, to be able to help take care of others.

  • judsoncarroll4judsoncarroll4 Posts: 1,583 admin

    Honestly, it sounds like a lot of bad stuff has been going on and it may be best to just admit that life is pretty tough right now. Life goes in cycles - downs and ups.... granted, there may be more downs. I don't think it is healthy to deny it or ignore it. Just try to survive it. If you are religious, this is when religion can help most. Some herbs can give yo a little boost, like Saint John's wort... but they generally are not very strong nd work slowly... especially the illegal one... the ones that are strong, and often illegal... can, like prescriptions, have risks. Sure, exercise, hard work and volunteer work can help... anything positive that takes you mind off it. But, I'm just going to say a prayer and hope it all works out for y'all soon... the sun also rises.

  • kbmbillups1kbmbillups1 Posts: 371 ✭✭✭✭

    I hope things start getting better for you soon. I'll be praying for you too. I don't know if this will help or not but I've heard Andrew Saul speak several times about niacin and depression, anxiety, etc. Found this interview on youtube.

  • toreytorey Posts: 1,595 admin

    @Cherlynn My deepest condolences on the loss of your sister. That's a really tough one. A homeopathic remedy that is often suggested for grief is Ignatia; most health food stores or natural pharmacies should have it. I agree with the other comments. You must take care of yourself to help others. Focus on a healthy diet and add lots of adaptogens to your food to help deal with the stress levels and boost your immune system. Tulsi tea is very nice. Lemon Balm tea is uplifting. Susun Weed would recommend nourishing herbal infusions, particularly oatstraw and linden. Nature therapy is wonderful. Aromatherapy can help with mood and relaxation.

  • herbantherapyherbantherapy Posts: 377 ✭✭✭✭

    @Cherlynn I am so sorry you have experienced so much upheaval recently and for the loss of your sister. I think your retreat in March with your husband is a really wonderful idea. Make sure you take measures to leave the chaos behind when you go. It’s ok to remove the burdens (imagine a very heavy backpack, take it off your shoulders, set it down...it will be there when you get back and you can make the choice then if you want to pick it back up or unpack some of it) and walk freely in a state of grace to heal your heart on your vacation time. Tell your family you need to have some time and do not answer your phone when you go away in March.

    I hope you are doing something to honor your sister and your love for her, feeling into your grief and not burying it under all your other responsibilities. It is just too much.

    In the end, know that while you are a good human for caring so much...you cannot be responsible for everyone. You are taking on more than your share. Be gentle with yourself these are hard times. Do what is best for you not everyone else. Morning practices are very helpful to ground you and help you discern what will bring you the most joy today. My hope is you choose joy in each moment so that you may lead a life that doesn’t feel as hard. It is not selfish to love yourself first.

  • LaurieLovesLearningLaurieLovesLearning Moderator Manitoba, Canada 🍁 zone 3, PrairiesPosts: 2,385 admin

    @Cherlynn I agree with most of what is stated above. Life is just plain hard and often feels unfair.

    I am one who wanted to give up at times, some much more than others, but kept going. I try to be very strong & try to look at the positive, but am very sensitive/empathetic and feel things deeply. Sometimes I feel like I can't bear any more of either/both of my problems & others burdens or other's unwise paths that will not result in anything good. These times are the worst. I suspect that you are a bit like me.

    My belief is that my God knows what is best for me. He made me this way & brings people/things/events into my path for a reason. I have to admit that through my darkest times, I did not want to trust what I know to be true, however, but I prayed & tried to make the best of my situation (at the same time deciding to trust) even though most of the events were out of my hands.

    My human brain was focused too much on the negative and not anything good. This negativity created more around me. It affects all a person does or says.

    My part in this was to trust that there was something for me to learn, and that I would be stronger when I finally came out on the other end. This gave me hope, a purpose & a destination.

    I am not fully there, but I can tell you that I am now much more at peace & confident moving forward. It has taken me years (it is hard letting go of negative). I have seen wonderful changes in my husband too and this makes my journey easier. This has taken patience & work by both of us individually & together. It wasn't always easy. It will continue to be hard. But there is always hope.

    What also helps is finding someone that you can trust, to talk to. If you can't find that person, it is harder. On your walks, you can always talk or cry or whatever you need to do. It is good. There is no judgment there. I remember that Rosemary Gladstar found a favorite large tree and would sit under it and talk. I thought that was beautiful, but I am biased because I love this particular, spectacular creation. Haha

    Walking and getting sunshine are very important.

    One thing that I would like to suggest since you said that finances are bad...rethink the vacation if it isn't already booked. I have been on few due to this reason. What I would like to suggest instead, is to find some fairly local places (overnight/evening/day...meal, local destination or even a special place to just hang out) or events that are free or inexpensive. It would be like allowing yourself more little refreshment boosts over the tough times rather than a high that might just feel like it was imaginary & distant, and maybe an additional financial burden, once you are back home. During this time, use it to be kind to your husband, talk about fears & positives, and use it to bond. Focus on both of you. This will help both of you in your struggles and you will be able to support each other better through these hard times as you move forward.

    I feel for you. I am here, as I believe everyone else who comments here is, whenever you need support. I am so very not a hugger, but really wish that I could give you one. I hope that sharing my story has helped at least in some small way.

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