Finding the right path

Nancy Carter
Nancy Carter Posts: 202 ✭✭✭
edited October 2020 in Encouragement

I have found life challenging lately. Trying to find my way. Most of my life has been on auto pilot but now I find myself unsure of which direction to go. Maybe its due to the uncertainty of the world. I'm not sure. I journal, meditate and ground myself quite often. I still find myself reactive to my surroundings and I want to be responsive not reactive! I am a mom to 4 children, 2 having special health care needs. Dealing w epilepsy and diabetes is pretty overwhelming. I think I have handled it well for years. Im feeling that due to the current world chaos , seeing others panic and reactive i feel like im falling apart more so than ever. I would appreciate your thoughts


  • shllnzl
    shllnzl Posts: 1,810 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Nancy Carter I am impressed with your dedication to your family.

    Note that you are not alone. My life is fairly smooth, retirement has been good, minus some aches and pains. I am normally a positive person, yet I have been dealing with anxiety this year. How can we not be anxious and confused?

    The world is presenting us with tremendous natural and man made calamities. Normal logic and rational behavior have been abandoned by many people, both private and government. We have grown to expect the world to operate a certain way, minus natural disasters. Those rules no longer seem to apply.

    I have been trying to relate to the people who survived World War II. They had to deal with anxiety, shortages and potential loss of many loved ones sent overseas. They had to lose hope and worry often. They made it through with honors; that's why they are referred to as the Greatest Generation. We too will make it through -- you and I are trying to do it with dignity and honor.

    Crisis shows the true nature of people, so know that you are showing the right stuff. Best wishes to you and your family.

    COWLOVINGIRL Posts: 954 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2020

    Nancy Carter I don't know what to say other than that you are doing so good! Maybe the people you are serving haven't thanked you for all that you do for them, so I am going to thank you for them. Keep on keeping on!

  • seeker.nancy - Central Texas
    seeker.nancy - Central Texas Posts: 795 ✭✭✭✭

    Unfortunately many are dealing with that issue. We all thought we knew basically how life was going to play out. This virus is just another wake-up slap. Yesterday afternoon I had some disturbing news, followed by more of the same as spin-outs from Covid. I told my daughter that I felt like I was splintering into pieces; there was just too much happening that I could not control. It definitely does challenge us to stop and look and see who we really are and/or who we want to be. I think meditation is a good thing, or just sitting out with our plants or animals. Not to be doing anything but just let the thoughts flow. If they turn negative, put the brakes on them. I tell myself "this is not happening in this lifetime!" Nope, not easy to do at all but very worthwhile in my opinion. I hope you find something @Nancy Carter that helps you. When we fall apart it means we get to pick up the pieces and make a new picture.

  • GardenMama
    GardenMama Posts: 95 ✭✭✭

    First remember that your feelings are valid. I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult managing those things are on a regular day much less after several months of uncertainty throughout the world. I hope that you find something that anchors you and allows you to figure out all the pieces. In the mean time try and set aside a couple minutes as often as you can as time for yourself. Self care right now is a necessity more than most realize.

    You are an amazing person ❤

  • RustBeltCowgirl
    RustBeltCowgirl Posts: 1,403 ✭✭✭✭✭

    @Nancy Carter First kind to yourself. You have a lot on your plate and there's only so much of you to go around. You can't take care of others if you aren't caring for yourself.

  • Annie Kate
    Annie Kate Posts: 680 ✭✭✭✭

    @Nancy Carter Having chronically ill kids can be exhausting and draining to the point of being traumatic. I have sick kids, too.

    One way I deal with the tension is to avoid the news--I'll read headlines once in a while, and I'll listen to people who read/watch it so I do keep up adequately, but I can't handle the negativity.

    There's a text in the Bible that beautifully encourages focusing on the positive: "...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Philippians 4:8) Even if you are not Christian, you can be inspired by this passage; if you are a Christian, do read the bit before this passage as well--I have gone over it thousands of times in dark moments.

    One of the other people on these forums recommended The Magnesium Miracle by Carolyn Dean and among other things it deals with both epilepsy and diabetes. Who knows, it might make a bit of a difference in your kids' health, and even just a bit of a difference can feel like a least it does to me.

    Courage, sister!

  • Nancy Carter
    Nancy Carter Posts: 202 ✭✭✭

    Thank you all for your kind, encouraging words! It helps to know there is a support network out here. I am deeply grateful!

  • LaurieLovesLearning
    LaurieLovesLearning Posts: 7,210 admin

    @Nancy Carter This is good advice above.

    To calm any chaos in your home, choose some calming and enjoyable music, and play it quietly throughout your day or during times when you feel like you are starting to get overwhelmed.

    I also want you to think about going for a walk in nature. Are you able to have someone go with you (who will listen...maybe your husband?) while someone else watches the kids for a while? A daily walk (and without kids) does a heart good.

    Kids are a lot of work even without medical challenges. You do need to take care of yourself. I find this challenging at times as well.

    If you look over the thread here on the forum about anxiety, it has a lit of great suggestions as well.

    If you ever need to chat, my pm is open to you.

  • mgray11
    mgray11 Posts: 83 ✭✭✭

    Writing to let you know that you're not alone! If you ever need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to message me.

    I'm a single mom of a special needs five year old and with the recent decision of the school district to have all children do remote learning, I may have to take a semester (or more) of college off to homeschool my kiddo. Something I don't feel trained to do whatsoever.

    I feel like screaming sometimes! Luckily these situations are temporary and sometimes that is all I can keep telling myself when the going gets tough. It's also never a bad idea to talk to a therapist or counselor (they don't prescribe medications, just listen).

    My daughter occasionally will be pretty upset and I'll have her do breathing exercises to calm down and, because I have to guide her at first, I inadvertently calm MYSELF down as well. It may sound hokey but taking deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth has the power to 're-center' and calm stressed out moms as well as the kiddos.

    Long distance hugs ✌

  • Grounded
    Grounded Posts: 153 ✭✭✭

    Know that you are not alone in your anxiety and feelings of uncertainty. While only you have your experiences, there are many who are affected by the current circumstances. My only advice is not to let yourself become isolated. Keep connected to those around you and try not to let any feelings of overwhelm in one area of your life take over all of your life.