I'm Going to Be Checking In Sporadically For a While

Linda Bittle

Moms had 2 minor strokes in the past 3 weeks, and my sister needs help with her while we decide if we can continue to keep her home or if we need to get her into a rehab facility. She walks with a walker or quad cane pretty well but is weak. She eats some, but not enough and cannot even heat things up for herself. Her speech is garbled quite a bit of the time. She cannot stay alone right now.

Susan works nights in an ambulatory care facility, which Mom does not qualify for right now. She's an LPN and is on all mom's paperwork to sign for her. So my job is to support her decisions and be there a much as I can. Problem is I am not allowed to take my 2 cats over, so have to come home after every 2 nights to take care of them. And no internet there! The plus is that I get paid 13.50 an hour for 3 hours a day to be there through a state program.

Anyway, if you don't see me on here much, I'll be back as soon as life levels out.

There's a good facility just blocks from their house, and some of Mom's friends live there. And they have activities that Mom would enjoy. She has expressed an interest in the past to be closer to her friends, and that she gets bored waiting on us to do things with her. We can do this for a short time, but it is already taking a toll on us.

Your prayers and kind thoughts are appreciated.

kbmbillups1

Sorry to hear about your mom. We have several friends going through the same thing right now. If your mom needs extra care I hope you find a good place.

Michelle D

I'm so sorry. I will pray for the situation. Hopefully you can be help and support without feeling to much stress.

Lisa K

Sorry to hear about your mom, having been through something similar, I hope you and your sister can find help to help reduce the burden. I will add your family to my prayers!

Torey

My sympathies! I know all too well what it is like to have parents age to the point that we are unable to provide all their needs. I hope you are able to find assistance for all of you.

I know these things are hard to do when under stress, but try to remember to eat nourishing foods and get enough rest.

Linda Bittle

@Torey Thank you for the reminder. I have it easier than my sister, who has a full-time nursing job at night, and the bulk of Mom's care. She doesn't get enough sleep or eat well on a routine basis anyway.

It would be so much easier if I could just take the cats.

vickeym

I'm so sorry this is happening to you all. It sounds like she may be ready to go to and be happier at the facility where her friends are at. I know it is a hard decision to make, but if she has already expressed the interest and may need the constant supervision. It might be healthier for you all.

Will be praying for all of you, As Torey said, don't forget to take care of yourselves as well. You cannot be strong for her if you run yourselves down and get sick too.

Linda Bittle

@vickeym Thank you. Yes, I think we would all be healthier if we can make that decision. My sister feels like it's a failure on her part. My brother and I have agreed to wholeheartedly back her if she comes to that conclusion on her own. It's a tough place to be, and today was emotional. 2 of Mom's great-grandkids stopped to visit on their way to Florida. Mom got teary at the restaurant because the 12-year-old reminded her of her grandfather.

Physically she's improving, but we can't trust her to be alone for her safety right now.

Lisa K

As I can attest from all that I have gone through the past year, it may be hard and frustrating at times, but when the time comes you will not have any regrets of not spending time with her or being there for her when she needed you.

Linda Bittle

Update: Mom is doing significantly better than we anticipated! I'm not super excited that she's now on 7 prescriptions, but they are keeping her blood pressure down and her heart rate up! She's walking around the house without a walker or cane now but uses the cane when outside the house.

She is getting speech therapy twice a week, and occupational therapy, which she hates. Her speech is sometimes scrambled, and she can't always say what she wants to say, but she reads (the wall calendar to answer some of the speech therapist's questions.)

We have been teasing her about taking her to get a tattoo on her right arm. She broke the elbow years ago, and it's stiff. It got into her medical record that she had right-sided weakness, and it was stupid hard to get anyone to pay attention to me or my sister because "the record says..." Her visit to the neurologist last week finally got that corrected. The doctor wasn't in, but the female nurse practitioner actually listened and followed up. But I think she needs a red tattoo that reads "This arm hasn't worked right since 1987".

Michelle D

@Linda Bittle I'm so glad to hear about the improvements! Hopefully it will continue in that direction and hopefully she will be able to move away from some of those medications.

Linda Bittle

@Michelle D that's what we hope to see. I hate that she went from 1 thyroid pill to so many, but I do have to say that the change in her is impressive.

Lisa K

@Linda Bittle love the tattoo idea!

Linda Bittle

https://community.thegrownetwork.com/discussion/comment/923755#Comment_923755

Mom isn't thinking it's good!